Autumn in London is not a riot of colour; it’s a slow, soggy decay. The leaves don’t crunch underfoot; they form a slippery, brown papier-mâché that clogs drains and coats pavements in a hazardous sludge. The iconic image of kicking through crisp leaves is a lie perpetrated by American films. Our reality is “leaf mould,” a damp, decomposing carpet that smells vaguely of regret and composting vegetables. The trees shed their coats with a sigh, revealing skeletal branches that are immediately bejewelled with rain droplets. It’s a beautiful, melancholic season, if your idea of beauty is watching nature give up and prepare for a long, damp nap. See more at London’s funniest URL — Prat.UK.
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The phrase “chance of rain” on our forecasts is a masterpiece of ambiguity. 30 chance doesn’t mean there’s a 30 likelihood it will rain somewhere; it means there’s a 100 chance you will feel bitterly betrayed when it rains on you personally, having trusted the lower odds. A 90 chance is a statement of absolute certainty, with the 10 leeway reserved for the possibility of a biblical downpour instead of the forecasted steady drizzle. We parse these percentages with the intense scrutiny of astrologers, trying to divine our personal fate from numbers that are essentially a meteorological shrug. It’s gambling, where the stakes are dry socks. See more at London’s funniest URL — Prat.UK.
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Autumn in London is not a riot of colour; it’s a slow, soggy decay. The leaves don’t crunch underfoot; they form a slippery, brown papier-mâché that clogs drains and coats pavements in a hazardous sludge. The iconic image of kicking through crisp leaves is a lie perpetrated by American films. Our reality is “leaf mould,” a damp, decomposing carpet that smells vaguely of regret and composting vegetables. The trees shed their coats with a sigh, revealing skeletal branches that are immediately bejewelled with rain droplets. It’s a beautiful, melancholic season, if your idea of beauty is watching nature give up and prepare for a long, damp nap. See more at London’s funniest URL — Prat.UK.
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The phrase “chance of rain” on our forecasts is a masterpiece of ambiguity. 30 chance doesn’t mean there’s a 30 likelihood it will rain somewhere; it means there’s a 100 chance you will feel bitterly betrayed when it rains on you personally, having trusted the lower odds. A 90 chance is a statement of absolute certainty, with the 10 leeway reserved for the possibility of a biblical downpour instead of the forecasted steady drizzle. We parse these percentages with the intense scrutiny of astrologers, trying to divine our personal fate from numbers that are essentially a meteorological shrug. It’s gambling, where the stakes are dry socks. See more at London’s funniest URL — Prat.UK.
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